My Little Applehead

I always wondered what kinds of things made people strong, or what made them not break down when they most likely should have. I know what is making me strong right now, my "Little Applehead."

This month has been a crazy month, but it has also been a depressing month for me. My mom has been in Panama for almost a month now, taking care of my grandmother. My grandmother recently undergone a major surgery to take some water off her brain, so they had to insert a pump in her head, which then connected to a tube in her stomach, for the water to drain into. My grandmothers stomach rejected the tubing and she sustained an infection. Well, I thought, ok, it's an infection. All they have to do is replace the tubing. I was wrong. First they have to find the tubing because apparantly they don't have a stock of it, go figure. So ok, we just have to wait. Nope, things have gotten worse. The doctors have found a tumor in my grandmothers colon. Damn it! I am so pissed off right now, just for the simple fact that my mother is going through all this by herself. My grandmother is in ICU, so my mother can only see her an hour a day. Geesh, can I get any more bad news?

I received a phone call from a friend that I had not spoken to for about six months. I thought he was calling just to give me a hard time for not keeping in touch and letting him know how things were going with Izzy. I was wrong. He called to give me the news that my friend Christine passed away on 4/19. She was only in her early 30's and was fine last week. We were suppose to meet for lunch this week so she could see Izzy. I didn't break down on the phone and kept calm, simply because I was still in shock. When I hung up the phone, tears ran down my face. I looked over to see what Izzy was doing, and she was just looking at me with her big eyes and the expression on her face made me feel like she was telling me that it was ok to cry and that I didn't have to keep it all bundled inside.

I am keeping it together because I know that my main focus right now is to take care of my "Little Applehead." She is what is getting me through the days!